So, Dickens walked into a bar…

June 12, 2011 | Featured Miscellania

I thought today would be a good day for a joke, because as Victor Hugo once said, “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face”. Ok, I do realize that it is actually summer for those of us in the northern hemisphere, but that was the first quote about laughter I could think of. This assortment of ” So (name of author) walked into a bar” jokes have been floating around the internet for awhile now, so I’m not exactly sure where they originated from. (Jokes on the internet can be hard to track down.) Kudos to whomever wrote them.

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Charles Dickens: Please, sir, I’d like a martini.

Bartender: Sure thing. Olive or twist?

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James Joyce: I’ll take a Guinness.

Bartender: So Charles Dickens was in here yesterday.

James Joyce: (drinks)

Bartender: And he asked for a martini and I said, “Olive or twist?”

James Joyce: (drinks)

Bartender: You see, it’s funny because he wrote a book called “Oliver Twist.”

James Joyce: What a shitty joke.

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Mark Twain: Give me a brandy.

Bartender: So Charles Dickens came in the other day and ordered a martini.

Mark Twain: Did he take an olive or twist? Ha ha ha!

Bartender: You did that on purpose, didn’t you?

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Virginia Woolf: I’ll take your second-best cognac and unadulterated experience.

Bartender: We don’t have that. This is a bar.

Virginia Woolf: Patriarchy! (drowns herself)